Birthday Reflection

This last month we celebrated my birthday. For many people, it’s a time to let loose and forget that, yes, you are a year older. For those that don’t know us, our version of let loose is to do a fun activity which this year was a new farmer’s market on Saturday, and a zip line on Sunday, and then relax with the family watching a movie (Rogue One was our choice this round because we love all things Star Wars) and homemade pizza.

Thinking back on what I thought my life would look like in my thirties, I never thought it would look like this. When I was 18 I thought I would have my first kid by 20 and they would be pursuing their big life goals by the time I was 40. I’m not to 40 yet, but being that we don’t have a kid yet, that isn’t the hand I was dealt, but I’m grateful. A lot of people at 20 are READY both emotionally and financially; that wasn’t me.

Cut to today—the thought of adopting makes you reflect even more on who you were, who you are, and consider the extra layer of who you want to be as a dad. Life decisions and professional aspirations are now not as easy to decide. How will that help or hurt my family? If there is less family time but we are more financially secure, is it worth it? If we have to move for work, are there going to be good schools? Is it fair to take our kid(s) away from the friends and activities they love? The questions keep coming, as I believe they should, but the answers are more difficult to come up with.

If we are selected soon, the next birthday will be very different—my birthday card will say, “Happy Birthday, Dad!”

I look forward to that day and I am excited for tomorrow. As each day passes we get another day closer to meeting our child. I hope it comes soon!

-Drew

This doesn’t show the fear, but it was a doozy.